How to be helpful to a person with mental illness.

Do you have a friend or a relative with a mental illness?

It can be overwhelming to encounter someone with a mental illness especially if you are unfamiliar with how to be helpful. There are some simple attitudes and practices that are helpful rather than harmful in the road to recovery from a mental illness. Most of all find what works for you and your relative or friend.

The following items are general suggestions. Whatever you do, your ultimate goal is to help the person with a mental illness learn to help themselves.

1. Respect that the person with a mental illness should have the primary role in their recovery plan. Adults are not children because they have a mental illness. Involving the person in their recovery plan encourages ownership of the plan and helps them on the road to mental health.
2. Contact Coast if you are interested in support or for information on programs.
3. When the person with a mental illness is relatively well, work out strategies on how they would like you to respond when they are relapsing and ask them what role you would like them to play in your recovery.
4. Do not criticize your friend or relative or moralize their behavior. For instance, a person with major clinical depression may sleep a great deal. Do not call them lazy or tell them to snap out of it. They are sick and have no energy or cannot do things because of the depression. Praise them for small steps of progress. Say things like, -I am glad you had a shower today and changed your clothes. You look good when you are cleaned up.
5. Be patient about their recovery. Some medications, therapies and rehabilitation programs take time to become effective. It may take time to find the right medication and the proper dosage, the best type of therapy, beneficial rehabilitation services, a good fit between the person with a mental illness and the mental health professional. If you are not satisfied with the progress consult with your friend or relative about seeking a second opinion.
6. Take care of yourself. Eat properly, sleep properly, get exercise and have a support network. Learn stress management practices and relaxation techniques. Keep up your social life and hobbies and activities.
7. Find a healthy balance between your needs and the needs of a person with a mental illness. Define and communicate your boundaries.
8. Educate yourself and your friend or relative about their particular diagnosis.
   • What are the signs and symptoms of the illness?
   • what medications and therapies are effective?
   • what are the signs that a person is beginning to recovery?
   • what are the signs of relapse?
   • What is the best way for a family or friend to help a person with this particular mental illness recover?
   • Treatment or helping models can be very different for each illness.
9. Learn about different types of drug interactions, including herbal remedies and over the counter drugs from your doctor or pharmacist. It is best to use one pharmacy for all your prescriptions. Some drug interactions can be fatal.
10. Learn about the variety of treatment options available in your community.
11. Find out what community mental health and rehabilitation services are available.
12. Join a family and friends support group and/or ensure that you have a network of support for yourself.
13. Keep a journal to record your thoughts and reactions over time. You might begin to identify helpful or harmful behaviors and attitudes.
14. Observe your friend or relative's behavior.
    • Are they agitated?
    • Have they withdrawn socially?
    • Do they sleep too much or too little?
    • Do they eat properly?
    • Are they practicing proper hygiene?
    • Are they using street drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol?
    • Do they drink too much coffee or smoke too much?
    • Are their thoughts coherent?
    • Do they talk about what they are feeling?
15. This information may be helpful for mental health professionals to provide a more accurate diagnosis. Do not use this information to accuse or belittle your friend or relative.
16. Make a list of questions before you meet with mental health professionals. Most mental health professionals are very busy and you should use their time efficiently.
17. Encourage them to get involved in community mental health services. Medication and therapy are sometimes effective by themselves but it is helpful for them to be involved with rehabilitation services offered by community mental health agencies.
18. Find community mental health services that provide peer support and rehabilitative social and recreational programs. A person with a mental illness who is managing their symptoms well can be an excellent role model to a person in the early stages of recovery. Even if they attend group therapy they may not have an opportunity to make friends. Some therapy groups discourage contact between patients outside of the group. Community mental health agencies offer formal and informal opportunities to socialize in a stigma-free environment. It is comforting for people to know that they are not alone in their mental illness.
19. Don't talk only about the illness. There is more to a person than the mental illness. Talk about your own life and others. Understand that they have a regular life and while they have a mental illness they are a person first.
20. Many people with a mental illness cannot work. Find out about what financial supports are available from the government. Learn about discretionary trusts and other financial options.
21. If your relative also has a drug or alcohol problem and is using, do not give them large amounts of cash. They may use it to support their habit. Instead take them to dinner or buy them groceries or clothes. Seek out agencies that offer concurrent disorder or dual diagnosis programs (for alcoholics and/or addicts who also have a mental illness.) Both issues need to be treated together.
22. In a crisis, if they are a danger to themselves or others, call their psychiatrist or doctor if possible. Ask what hospital to go to. Remain calm and ask the person if they will go with you to the hospital. If they will not go call 911 and explain that you need assistance. Explain that the person has a mental illness. Ask the police to be hesitant about drawing weapons. Some communities, like Vancouver, have a psychiatric nurse that will accompany a police officer in crisis situations.
23. Seek out housing programs designed for people with a mental illness. It may be better for them to live in a community home or other supported housing programs.
24. Seek out employment or pre-employment programs designed for the people with a mental illness. Even volunteering can lead to increased self-esteem and a feeling that they are making a contribution to society.

This article was compiled with information from the Vancouver Coastal Health, the National Association for the Mentally Ill, the Canadian Mental Health Association, www.mentalhealth.com and by consulting consumers and staff at Coast.